Home today from work and picking Zoey up from school and able to enjoy a few quiet moments here before taking care of laundry and dinner duties. Zoey has a friend over to practice for their skit in the talent show that's this Friday. The sun is shining and before I put the laundry in the dryer I'm going to sit outside for a bit and enjoy it!
I've been having a couple of very overwhelming days here, okay...perhaps more than a couple. Why is this a lesson that I have to repeat over and over again? Why is it that I attempt (and think) that it's possible to be able to do it all and to do it well nonetheless?
I cannot work the hours I do and then come home to a house that is stocked (by me) with groceries for meals (planned by me, for the week) and walk the dog, cook dinner (a vegetarian and a gluten-free one and have it ready and warm for when my husband walks through our door), help Zoey with her homework and stay on top of the laundry every single day and still have time left over to blog, read, or have time to be creative...or sometimes even simply just sit still for a moment before packing lunches for myself and Zoey for the next day. I'm stuck in a cycle of busyness that isn't ending. I can't forget to call the groomers for the dog or whatever, the list goes on and on. There is always something vying for my attention. I need to make sure I go to the bank or pay that bill. Sign Zoey up for theater camp or make sure she has everything in order for dance. And it's so funny because as a woman I feel compelled to not complain. To suck it up and keep going, refusing defeat...because if I did then that would mean I am weak or not a hard worker or too emotional, etc. That I better just get through it silently without complaint. Why on earth is this the case when I simply know better!?!?
It's tiring and getting old. How many times do I look at someone and have the thought that I could do that...would enjoy doing that...someday want to do that but I don't make it (whatever "it" may be a priority; today it was my admiration of someone who knows web design and I had the thought that I really, really, really think I could be good at that but it's always on the back burner for me) because other needs call to me for tending to.
This past weekend I made a plan (a pact to myself really) to take the time to ensure that I got some exercise time in for myself. That means bringing Zoey along with me but hey, she's older now so it's somewhat manageable. It didn't end up working out and it was fine because I ended up showing up for a friend that needed it (and truth be told I needed it too) and I thought, "It's alright, I'll take the time for myself tomorrow." Well tomorrow came and our plumbing in the kitchen backed up and my day was spent with people in my home trying to fix what needed fixing. It just all of a sudden was too much. I simply wanted to go for a walk and to get some exercise. I cried and then I got mad that I was crying. Who cries over THIS?
Well apparently I do. Or at least I did the other day. And you know what.
I need to remember that I cannot take care of every little thing and also make sure that everyone is happy without making sure that I too am happy first every once in awhile. It's so easy for me to get caught up in this cycle of trying to do it all. It's in my very nature to try to make sure all the bases are covered and that everything is taken care of. I need to change how I think and make sure that I too am being taken care of, even if (especially if) that means that I am the one that needs to do the caring.
Deep breathes here this evening..tomorrow is another day.
Edited to add:
[After posting this I clicked on over to one of my favorite blogs and this was the blog post that had just recently been posted. I am not alone, and thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me.]
This week Zoey had a half day of school on Monday and we attended a science night, art show and a special rain forest presentation later that evening at her school and the rain forest portion was so cool! I thought I would share pictures here of the rain forest show. It truly was spectacular!
I didn't get pictures of Zoey's art work because there were so many people enjoying the evening at school and walking through the library and halls where the work was displayed but we are so proud and happy for the work that Zoey has done this year! She has truly blossomed and is thriving this year creatively speaking and it's due to her amazing art teacher that she has this year. She actually has a stretched canvas painting that is going to be auctioned off at the end of the school year! So proud of her!
And here is Zoey with her science project on Geo-tropism. All the students had their project boards on display so parents could look at them and then today the kids all went to the Sustainability Fair in Rhinelander with their projects to share them there as well! So exciting!
In the picture above she is in her classroom and the one below was shared with me by one of her teachers while at the Sustainability Fair.
Zoey was finally able to put to use some of her Christmas gifts that she received from her grandparents (Ethan's folks) with the nicer weather we had last weekend (we are back to snow here now for the time being!)...first up were her roller skates. At school they are skating in gym class which means Zoey is obsessed with wanting to practice now. In the gym at school they hung a disco ball and Zoey thinks that is pretty cool too...definitely adds to the atmosphere I am told.
After she was done testing our her skates in the driveway we got out this fun toy that she got from her grandpa Ken. I don't even know what to call it but it sure is fun!
I might have tried my hand at this as well!
We discovered that it's fun to try and catch the arrows when they fall back down since they are pretty light and soft.
It's always fun to get outside once spring makes itself known to us! We sure are doing our best at trying to "think spring", wish the weather would cooperate with us!
Saturday the weather was incredible here...so warm. Perfect! Zoey and I took advantage of the entire day I am happy to say. We woke up early and headed out to explore some area lakes. This is Lake Kawaguesaga which is a spot where Zoey and I used to walk when she was little, I would push her here in her stroller from the apartment building that we lived in and then she would get out and play and explore and we'd have a snack. So fun bringing her back here again...she said it was smaller. :)
There were a couple of fishermen on the other side of the dam but we were quiet and were careful not to bother them too much.
We then headed downtown to get some popcorn and some Jelly Bellies!
After our treats we decided to go ahead and walk on the Bearskin Trail a bit starting at the trail head.
After our morning of adventuring we headed for home and had some lunch and then helped Ethan with some yard work. Our yard was FULL of pine needles and leaves as well as pine cones so this was a big project.
Ethan primarily worked on the back yard and I worked in the front of the house and the side of the garage. Zoey picked up sticks and twigs as well as pine cones and helped Ethan move the leaves using a tarp.
I took pics of the front lawn and the side of the garage, it's starting to shape up a bit but we still have more to go! Both Ethan and I have blisters on our hands!
Sure did feel good to be out in the sun, so thankful that we did because Sunday brought wind and rain and then today SNOW! While we weren't thrilled to see the snow...if I'm being honest, it was pretty. And it's already melted so that's good, hoping it stays away for the rest of the week now!
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