Boxes that I Put Myself in...

2.15.2007

Categories. If I make frosted pink cupcakes with sprinkles on top I am all frills, girlie, cute...fluff - thus rendering it impossible for me to see the way the dew is like a globe clinging to the pine bough, suspended there for only moments holding in it's very existence a mirror image of all that is imperfect and good, wrong and right, before falling and being swallowed whole - no regrets, no doubts. No double takes or second glances.

Must stop thinking this way, must stop judging myself. Must embrace that I am so many things, and that it's okay...I don't have to pick and choose. I can embrace all of me. I can make "cute" scrapbook pages and I can love poetry. I can listen to Sinaed O' Conner and John Denver. I can want* to be the woman that wears the slinky black dress one day and the next day I can choose to wear my thrift store, mud caked boots - and that's okay. I am not being hypocritical if that's me. Right?
* Notice I said "want" here...the opportunity does not often present itself to actually wear the slinky black dress, not sure that I even own one anymore, one that fits anyways! :)

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Chad Cline said...

I can relate to this so much. I think its so funny how we feel we need to be a certain way around certain people. I have such different friends who meet those different needs I have. I think that it is why I love Chad so much. From the beginning I have been able to communicate and live out all of my interests, new and old. Of course some things he can't get, but he is usually willing to go along and even try to have the right response. Sometimes I wish I was anonymous in my community so that I could dress differently whenever I felt inclined and would not get that "oh! you look different today," or "why are you so dressed up?" I think thats why I like so much to just be home with Eli. We can do whatever we feel inclined to do, and he has no idea that its weird. Now if I could live in the country so that I wouldn't worry what my neighbors would think if they saw me in pjs, or my dress I wear when the amish come to my house, or when I wear capris and socks. Oh well.
I do think that we classify people based on brief interaction, and try to be like or not like that "type" of person, but the truth is no one lives a stereotype every moment of the day.
I also think that since we only have one life to live and that we are good likable people. The most important thing we can do for ourself is to just be what we like. Others will appreciate sincerity. I am however waiting to dye my hair purple...I still haven't the "right" timing for that has occured. Someday!
I really love how, while others have to choose what they want to do day in and day out, this stay at home mom lifestyle allows and demands variety.
I made the plunge and signed up to be a creative memories consultant. I signed up more for the good deal. Where do you buy your supplies? I can't beleive how expensive stuff is. I'll get a discount this way. I plan on learning through your links too.
Robin

Diane said...

First of all, congrats on the contest. The layout is very eye-catching. I can so relate to you on this post. I often find myself being a little embarrassed about my love for scrapbooking among my local friends, b/c none of them scrapbook. But then I realize that creating is such a part of me and I need an outlet. I made a sign to put in my girls room a couple of months ago. I used a 1 x 4 block of wood, painted it, added a large daisy d's rubon on it that says "Be Yourself" I struggle so much with that, I don't want my girls to struggle the way I do. I want to encourage them to love all of the ways God made them, and not to be embarrassed at all about who they are. Sometimes I think I need to display the sign in the kitchen where I will see it.

Leslie said...

I struggle with these things too. Judging myself, comparing myself to others, needing validation. It's so hard to accept what you are and what you can do. But we strive to work towards that goal, when one day we can just look in the mirror and be completely happy with our whole selves.
Good to know there are others out there, too!
:)

Aaron said...

Thats Right!

Isn't life just moments... phases... I used to have my nipple pierced and wear chunky glasses cause it just seemed right at the time. Sure it seems odd now that I did that, but whatever. Who are we hiding a different style from? I'm not a rock star so it doesn't matter if I wear khaki's and a button up when I usually wear black leather pants a nose ring. Isn't it fun to get people to see you from a different angle? I think the issue with people isn't that they think you're being a hypocrite because you dress differently from one day to the next but that they don't like the fact that they might not have you pegged with some comfortable label... i.e. domestic housewife, responsible white collar father....and so on... or maybe people are reminded of their own fears.. I don't know. A guys perspective is different I guess..

Robin... reds and greens are good hair colors too.

I think I need another tatoo... a big one...maybe Ethan wants one too? after that I'll come over and have a nice sugary pink cupcake with extra sprinkles.

I wont re-pierce my nipple ever again though. That hurt like hell. I don't care what anybody thinks about that.

happydays525 said...

THANK YOU for your responses! Your responses make me feel SO good! So normal too! :) Robin, I know what you mean about wishing to be anonymous in a community in which you live...I think that's part of the reason I love moving to new places, is that I get to try out new versions of me without scrutiny for a bit and Diane, your point on letting our children know that they are special just as they are is such a huge thing and so on point as we are our children's biggest models in life and Leslie your honesty is so refreshing. It is that day when I can look in the mirror and be totally confident that I am looking forward to, I truely feel that I am getting there...slowly but surely! ;) And Aaron, my nose is running from crying and laughing so hard! I started reading your post and I had to start over again and check to see that it was really you posting and not some other Aaron! The nipple piercing thing caught me off guard I have to say! But then, why should it...right!?!?

happydays525 said...

"I think the issue with people isn't that they think you're being a hypocrite because you dress differently from one day to the next but that they don't like the fact that they might not have you pegged with some comfortable label... i.e. domestic housewife, responsible white collar father....and so on... or maybe people are reminded of their own fears.. I don't know. A guys perspective is different I guess.."

Thanks Aaron! You ROCK! And Cherity rocks for being your wife, (and my friend!).

Jude said...

Hye Jen! Thanks for checking out my blog and leaving a comment... ANd I am totally with you on the black dress one day to thrfit shop the next... I have too many moods to stick to one style of dressing. One day I might look all sporty, the next I want an embroidered flowy blouse... That's part of being unique and not a carbon copy of someone else, so don't change! :) I noticed you are doing Emily F's 52 card challenge... I am a week behind, so I need to get caught up this weekend... Yours look great!

Linda Woods said...

You can be whatever, whenever you want to! I wish I was your neighbor...I DO listen to Sinead O'Conner and John Denver and I love pretty pink frosted cupcakes!