Decisions

1.18.2007

The Mop's group on Tuesday went alright...Zoey didn't cry but she didn't exactly have a blast either. Really torn about what to do about this. She does extremely well at the library group, (which I attend as well) and interacts with the kids and plays well, has fun but for some reason the Mop's group lately has not been her thing.
The meeting for the Mom's consisted of a lady showing us how to make easy, healthy and fun snacks for our kids, it was informative and fun because we got to sample everything that she was making. I made another connection with a Mom and discovered that a woman with whom I've been communicating with for some time now here is the MIL to a girl that is cousins with one of my good friends from my home town! Talk about a small world! I was also asked if I would like to be in charge of the Arts & Crafts sessions next year for Mop's. I'm flattered that I was asked but haven't committed to anything yet. It would mean going to an additional meeting once a month and planning a project, getting supplies for every member of the group and working with the budget committee, all that stuff will add up quickly I'm afraid. I really want to make sure that I am staying true to what I want and that means making sure that I have time to commit to my family, myself and then others...starting to feel a bit of anxiety about having offered more time to the bakery in the summer months as well as starting another job, (which I'm really excited about!) at the scrapbook store teaching this summer. I have such a hard time saying no to people and then I become resentful when things start getting pushed back in my personal life, whether that be having one day a week to spend on family time or just having the energy left at the end of the day to even just think about a creative project that I am interested in pursuing. I feel that for so long I was hoping for that "spark"...the drive for a certain direction to go in and now that I've found it I feel the need to fiercely protect my resources so that I can have the time and the energy to put forth the effort...for myself, so that I am able to move forward in that direction. Obviously I know that this is not a unique struggle, that everyone struggles with commitment, sacrifice and balancing things that make up our lives. I am just extremely aware now in this moment that people make their own choices and that I shouldn't assume responsibility for them and their decisions but only for my own. Now I just have to make them! :0 -j

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